


Do you like Pizza Hut? Because I want to stuff your crust.

by tinypeckers



Series: All Right August [6]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M, Pizzeria AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-06
Updated: 2014-08-06
Packaged: 2018-02-12 02:07:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2091744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinypeckers/pseuds/tinypeckers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Could you write one where Wash is an angry pizza boy and Maine is surprised when he isn't scared of him and ends up ordering from the same place, hoping to see Wash again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do you like Pizza Hut? Because I want to stuff your crust.

**Author's Note:**

> Part of All Right August - send me prompts @ tinypeckers.tumblr.com/ask

Maine had never considered himself unappealing. The world, however, seemed to have a different opinion of him. Maine had been known to make children cry just by being in their presence. He’d sold the most meals at the restaurant he worked at because apparently people were too scared to decline his offer when he suggested the specials. Maybe it was the fact that he barely talked. Maine didn’t see a problem with it; he just didn’t have much to say. He hated people who rambled on about things for no reason. It was irritating. Just like the person Maine was on the phone to at that moment. He was just barely refraining from snapping at them, two fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. Maine had rang with the intention of ordering a pizza, not listening to some dumb teenager’s life story.

“So my best friend, Church,” The operator rambled on. In the background a young man who sounded just as irritated as Maine felt yelled something like _I’m not your best friend idiot_ , “yeah, he’s great. We talk, and hang out and…”

 

 

“That’s nice. I just want a pizza.” Maine finally ground out. The man on the other end of the phone let out a dramatic, elongated ‘oh’ sound.

“Right, yep – that’s why you called. What pizza did you want again?” The operator asked dumbly. Maine rolled his eyes, repeating his order nice and slowly for this stupid guy on the other end. Finally, the dumb operator asked for his address and Maine gave it to him. Maine had to check several times to be reassured that this dumbass wasn’t going to send it anywhere else before he finally hung up. Maine looked to the clock, groaning out loud. It had taken him a little over an hour just to order a pizza. But Maine didn’t have a choice. The service may have sucked but Maine knew that it was probably one of the only pizzerias whose delivery boy wouldn’t drop his pizza on his door step and run away. Maine had quite a reputation, honestly. Though he appreciated the free pizzas, Maine didn’t like the cement and dirt taste that came with them. So he’d take crappy service for fresh pizza. He’d no doubt have to change pizzerias again the next time he wanted take-away but eh, who cares?

 

 

A little while later, there was a knock on the door. Maine answered it quickly. The door swung open to reveal a relatively attractive young man. His blonde hair had been shaved short on the sides while the top stuck out wildly. He seemed to be staring at a piece of paper in his hand. It was covered in intelligible scrawling that Maine couldn’t work out. Finally, the man looked up.

“Hi, did you order a pizza? I hope you did because this is the third house I’ve visited for this damn thing.” The delivery boy ground out, “Fucking Caboose.” He added under his breath. Maine stared blankly at him, eyes wide. Did this boy just speak to him? They never get that far. His lack of response seemed like a negative response to the delivery boy who merely shrugged his shoulders and turned to leave.

“No? Okay, sorry man. Have a nice night.” The delivery boy said rudely.

“Wait – no, I did order pizza!” Maine practically yelled.

 

 

The delivery boy looked at him strangely for the sudden outburst.

“…Right, okay then. Did you order from Florida’s pizzeria?” He asked. Maine nodded eagerly. “Finally. That’ll be $16.50.” Wash, that’s what his name-tag said at least, said.

“Right, one second.” Maine said, dashing back into his home. He hadn’t quite been prepared to pay. Wash only rolled his eyes at him, waiting impatiently and tapping his foot on the floor. When Maine returned, he was surprised to see the boy still there. Maine handed the guy the money, including a hefty tip. Before the delivery boy could leave and after he’d set his pizza aside, Maine stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“Y-You’re not afraid of me?” Maine asked hesitantly. Wash looked at him sceptically.

“Why? You’re not an axe-murderer are you?” Wash asked.

“N-No.” Maine replied, puzzled.

“Good, now good night sir.” Wash said before he walked away.

 

 

Maine watched him leave in awe. This was the first time in years, maybe, that someone had been able to hold a conversation with him. Maine was tickled pink, so to speak. He slammed his door in his excitement, uncaring for his neighbours and snatched the pizza from the cupboard he’d set it upon. Maine slouched on his sofa, a smile painted across his face; as he flipped open the lid to his pizza. It was cold, as expected if what Wash had told him was true, but Maine loved every slice. He was definitely going to order more often from that place, if only for the delivery boy. It was worth suffering for an hour because of the idiot operator just to see someone who didn’t cower in fear when he opened the door. Maine just hoped that he wouldn’t be as angry the next time they met.

 

 

As it turns out, angry might just be his natural state. Just as Maine was was scary, this Wash fellow seemed naturally angry.

“God damn it, Caboose – how am I even supposed to read that order?” Maine heard Wash seethe one night. He’d been ordering pizza non-stop for a week now and, despite the fact the taste was slowly growing boring, it was worth it each and every time. That being said, Maine had definitely not opened all the windows facing his front yard and stood by one until Wash had arrived. He listened for Wash’s quick footsteps on the path and opened the door before the delivery boy could knock.

“Eager, aren’t we?” Wash said sarcastically as he handed Maine the pizza. It was the same order each time.

“I-“ Maine began but Wash didn’t give him a chance to finish,

“Uh-huh, nice chatting with you and all. You know the amount by now, right?” Wash asked rudely. Maine nodded, handing the money over and watching Wash as he counted it. Satisfied, Wash smiled at Maine for the first time.

“All right, good night.”

 

 

It became routine and eventually, Wash stopped delivering Maine’s pizzas angrily. Sometimes, when Maine opened the door, Wash would be standing there already smiling. In fact, they’d even talked a few times. That would usually leave other people with cold pizzas but eh, fuck ‘em as Wash had so eloquently put it one night. It was all fine and happy until one night when Maine opened the door and it was not Wash who stood before him. Instead, it was an admittedly handsome black man.

“You’re not Wash.” Maine said more bitterly than he’d anticipated. The new delivery boy rolled his eyes.

“Charming, aren’t you? I can’t believe you’re the guy he’s got a crush on. You’re not much of a looker.” The man stuck his nose up at Maine. Maine ignored his rudeness, eyes widening in surprise. Crush? His expression seemed to amuse the man before him.

“You didn’t know? I thought so, we were betting on when you were going to ask for his number.” He explained. Maine frowned.

 

 

“What?” Maine finally said.

“That’s kind of why I’m here. The name’s Tucker, by the way. I convinced Wash he needed a day off, something he hasn’t had since you started buying pizzas from us.” Tucker explained as he narrowed his eyes at Maine. Maine felt kind of guilty. “Anyway, I’ve got a deal for you.” Tucker proclaimed.

“…Yeah?” Maine prompted.

“I’ll give you your pizza for free if you ask for his number tomorrow; I get $50 if you do.” Tucker said, smiling impishly. Maine heaved a sigh. Well, it was a free pizza and Wash’s number.

“Deal.” Maine accepted, taking the pizza Tucker offered him.

“Thanks man, you’re the best. Can’t wait to hear about you tomorrow.” Tucker said with a wink. Maine closed the door on him.

 

 

The next night, Wash delivered his pizza one more. Maine grinned as he opened the door and was met with an equally as bright smile.

“You’re back.” Maine said with glee. Wash laughed, offering Maine the pizza.

“Yeah, I am. Sorry, who delivered your pizza yesterday?” Wash asked curiously. Maine shrugged, smirking as though he knew. Wash eyed him sceptically. “Okay, so $16.50.” Wash continued. Maine gave him the money. His hands were shaking, he felt nervous. Wash noticed this. “Are you all right buddy?” Wash asked, looking with concern up at him.

“Yeah, I just-“ Maine began.

“Just what?” Wash interrupted and if Maine didn’t know any better, he looked hopeful.

“Just… nevermind.” Maine gave up. He couldn’t ask for this guy’s number.

“No, what’s up?” Wash pressed. Maine sighed. Well, it was now or never.

“Can I have your number?”

 

 

“I thought you’d never ask!” Wash said pleasantly. Maine grinned, staring in disbelief as Wash grabbed his hand. Wash’s palm was soft. Did he moisturize? Maine ignored the urge to giggle as the pen Wash took from his pocket tickled his hand. Wash’s handwriting was elegant and gentle. When he’d finished, Wash grinned at Maine.

“Now you don’t have to keep buying pizzas to see me.” Wash said cheekily. Maine pretended to be insulted.

“Maybe I just like pizza.” Maine said jokingly.

“Uh-huh, speaking of which – here’s yours.” Wash said as he handed Maine his pizza.

“Thanks.” Maine blushed. Maine didn’t blush, not ever. He was a scary person, right?

“Call me.” Wash said with an over exaggerated wink before he walked away. Maine groaned. What had he got himself into?

 


End file.
